Setting expectations in life can be a slippery slope. Setting your expectations too high can result in an inability to meet/exceed them, and that can lead to disappointment. Conversely, setting your expectations too low risks missing out on maximum potential. To make life even more complicated, there’s also the danger of investing your time and effort into the wrong things where there is a risk of developing bad habits that come with giving those wrong kinds of things too much value; because we apply hope to them through expectations. Learning when, and how, to set expectations can be a valuable tool when applied correctly to scenarios. Begin by keeping your expectations realistic. Aiming high should be reserved for your personal goals while keeping the rest of the world accountable to their own measures. We should also adjust our expectations to include more failure than success, because failing first is a natural component of the success process. Of course we (eventually) expect success in all of our ventures, but it is not always achieved. However, we cannot expect successes without expecting failures as well.
We should expect to struggle. Our whole human existence is based upon the struggle. From the days of fighting for survival while avoiding predation, to more modern terms where we often find ourselves trying to break free from some thorn in our side to land in a better position. But it is also vital to remain focused that you’re doing it for the right things—the right reasons. There is a lot that can be said of ‘the struggle’—and the benefits that come with gutting it out and the refuse to lose attitude—but that’s another topic for another time. The point here is to expect it. To embrace the struggle as a part of the process. To live in it when it comes because that is confirmation that you’re out here trying. Expecting immediate success is foolish. It is more likely to have to deal with the disappointment that comes with the struggle than it is to deal with the achievement of triumph; so why get bent out of shape when you’re dealing with the disappointments of the struggle? Because your expectations were not aligned realistically. You can control your disappointment by conquering it through confrontation—by adjusting your expectations to know there will be hardships, struggle, and failure—and when those tough times arise, you can acknowledge them as a benchmark in your progress rather than a hinderance.
Disappointment can derail your advancement. The perfection conditions for success are rare—and should be capitalized upon when they’re presented—but pushing on through the process with the endurance of a champion is what transforms mortal men into champions. Wallowing in the mud of disappointment is the mark of miscalculation from someone with unrealistic expectations; someone who accepted a downer as disaster rather than acknowledging it as a part of the process and to be expected. That is avoidable by setting out expectations according to rank order of the vitality of the situation.
By that I mean: the more important something is to you, the more that you have to make your peace with the potential for disappointment, downers, and disasters. More than just that though, it means being ready to endure them when they come and moving on in spite of the setbacks. Rarely, if ever, do we allow the disappointment of setbacks to derail our wellbeing if it is something that is not all that important to us. But when we have a lot invested into something, that’s when disappointment can be crippling. Mitigating that is accounting for both failure and success; that way when one of them happens, we can seamlessly move into the next step/phase of the process/journey and keep making strides of advancement toward success.
Expect to endure. Plan to conquer. Succeed in spite of setbacks.
